I know that God’s word is spiritual; but I am unspiritual.
I’m a slave to sin.
I don’t understand what I’m doing. I know what to do, but I neglect it. I want to be involved in church, to share my faith, to stay pure.
But I don’t.
Instead I do what I hate. I spend my time alone watching less than wholesome tv. I try to fit in to the world rather than proclaiming Christ. I commit sins in my mind that I would be ashamed about doing in person, even though I know God sees them the same.
I hate these things, but I do them anyway.
As it is, it is no longer I myself who do these things, but rather my sinful nature within me. I know there’s nothing good in my flesh because of the gross desires within me. I thought I could win, but my track record doesn’t reflect that.
I do not do the good I want to do—discipling, showing love to the helpless, spending time praying. But the evil I do not want to do—avoiding the unloveable, shirking responsibility, spending time playing—this I keep on doing.
Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
And I feel powerless to stop it.
I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. I want to be pure, but my flesh wants satisfaction. I want to serve others, but my sinful nature pushes me to serve myself. Internally I struggle, for I both delight in God’s law and refuse to obey it.
What an awful person I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death, division, and destruction?
Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
It is Christ and he alone who gives desire and power to overcome sin. It is his Spirit within me who is fighting to make me actually holy even as God sees me as holy because of Jesus.
So now, I find myself torn, a slave to sin and a slave to my savior.
But I know which master is greater.
See Romans 7:14-25